Kevy Nova: Songs

This is one of my most personal songs. In fact, I often think of it as my "theme song."

It was written in January 2006. I had just recently moved to California from the east coast after getting my heart broken. I felt that I needed a fresh start and moving across the country was the only way I could think to do that. It was a very painful year but at least I got some good songs out of it.

The song was recorded shortly afterward with my good friend Leonard Kenyon on drums. I played the song to him a couple of times on an acoustic guitar and then we recorded it. Lenny's a fast learner that way.

I considered re-recording So for the CD because I knew that I could do a much better job now, having played and sang it so many times since then. Instead, I opted for the original recording because it captured me at a turning point in my life and also because I think the performance has a lot of energy to it.

When I was just a kid, all the stupid things I did.
But I could say, "I'm just a kid and don't know what I'm doing."
But now they say I've grown, I'm even living on my own.
There's no excuse that I can give for the dumb things I'm doing.

And it's So, So, So, So, So hard to be.

I had a Pretty Girl, so much more than I deserved,
but she couldn't take no more of the things I was doing.
I drove her to the shore. She couldn't take me anymore.
I was too much to endure and myself I was fooling.

And it's So, So, So, So, So hard to be.
And it's So, So, So, So, So hard for me.

Why can't I stop myself when I know?
Why can't I stop myself when I know what I'm doing will drive myself to ruin, when I know?

When I was just a kid, all the stupid things I did.
But I could say, "I'm just a kid and don't know what I'm doing."
But now they say I've grown, I'm even living on my own.
There's no excuse that I can give for the dumb things I'm doing.

And it's So, So, So, So, So hard to be.
And it's So, So, So, So, So hard for me.

It's So hard to heal when I'm in love with an ideal
and it's hard to get it straight in my mind and in my brain.
It's So hard to deal when I don't know how I feel
but in time I guess the pain will show the way.

You know it's never been easy, it's always gonna be hard...


© Kevy Nova